and now its back to blogging for me again.

I am supposed to be sleeping like a dead log. so, what am i doing here? I just can't sleep. this problem of insomnia has been recurring for the past few weeks. Its either i don't get sufficient sleep or I am just awake at the wrong times.

Anyways, hope YS was happy with his birthday celebration. feeling rather guilty about arriving late but couldn't help it as I was really tied down with work. for pictures, check it out on fb!

Anyways, I am quite unhappy recently? I feel that I'm not as focused as I want myself to be. this leads to the many scenarios of procrastinations recently. So, as Dr-Ong-to-be says, create a timetable! I will try.. no promises though.

but tmr will kinda be a gone day for me as well because I'm extracting 2 more teeth! AHHH. thankfully, evelyn's appt is before that or I would suffer from talking disabilities once again. Oh, speaking of which, I must remember to make some permission cards for myself and start jotting down my nightmares. hmmmmm cant remember any offhand now though.

OH... and a mental note to myself "COMPARE WITH MYSELF" as the saying goes, yi shan you bi yi shan gao. so there is absolutely no point in trying to be better than someone else. exceed my personal limits. Go beyond what I think I can! venture into the unknowns. Improve on personal best(s)! Yep, here's the spirit I am going to carry with me for the rest of the year till i get another/better motivational phrase. But this will always be kept in my bank of "inspirational words"!

Alrights, I guess I should start turning in now. Don't want to have panda eyes tomorrow. Also, I don't want risk dozing off in vincent chua's lesson! TATA! nights everyone. But before that.. lets have a brief idea of what my week ahead is going to be like.

TUESDAY-intro econs class
-dental
-evelyn appt
WEDNESDAY
-nothing at the moment-
THURSDAY-TWC Class
-Consultation with Burkhard
-DANCE!!!
FRIDAY-BGS Class
-Indancity Intro Class(tentative)


As for aims this week:
-Ring up relevant agencies for econs proj
-BGS powerpoint
-FA Report (financial analysis on starhub)
-SPonsors for InDanCity!!
-BGS Report
-Intro econs Report

WORK

urgh.. i am guilty. i didnt do much at all during the weekends. ANNDDD..nvm oh wells. but I know I can't afford to be EMO cos being EMO wastes time and energy!
SO.. its back to work again.

I need some motivation. I need a study buddy. I need a push. I need to be independent! GO trish GO!! u can do this! (:

move on

okay. probably this is gonna be the last time(i hope)i am gonna rant about my results. haiz. i wont say that i am ok. but yea. as wad ms tan told me.. its not the time to be upset bout your results but rather see what has gone wrong. the post mortem. really glad to all that stood by me when i was really sad. hmmm. its been so long. so long since i felt so emotionally unstable. hmmmm. i thought it was history. even in my roughest days, i dont cry much anymore. i scream and get depressed. but not cry. hmmmm. but yea. i guess tuesday was memorable. in a bad sense though. the feeling of helplessness. uncontrollable emotions. all once again, found its way back to me.

hmmmm i wonder if i over-reacted that day.almost didnt wanna go home.i kinda threatened my mama that maybe its bcos of my studying style and maybe the olvls crazy, madness gulping down of all shou ces and hist/ss text is wad i need. the whole "dun sleep dun eat just study study study" syndrome. hmmm. but i know that i said that to frighten her. to show how exasperated i am. sorry. i just didnt know wad else to do. and the moment i reached home.. i started screaming at my bro. it really reminded me of the days when i cried nonstop when he refuses to eat a biscuit i gave him. or just do any small thing that i asked him to. poor little ryan. have to put up with this insufferable sister at such a young age. sigh. but since then, ive been trying to make it up to him. loving him more, caring more bout him. and ya, just guide him along in his path of life.

sigh. ok. 7 more weeks to h3phy and gp prelims. 8 more weeks to the rest.its either now or never. ive started taking initiatives to see the teachers for consultation. guess wad i need now is guidance. i mean. this is a little too much for me and the whole feeling of helplessness. in the past it was just gp. now its everything. seriously EVERYTHING. hmmmm. but i know i have to move on.
what doesnt kill you will make you stronger
haiz.

mr chong told me that i should start assuring myself. and rewarding myself. just loving trish more=) it can be as simple as saying i can do it. but yea. it's quite difficult for me.. cos the only words i can say about myself now is "i suck" or "i am stupid" so ya. maybe i should start praying to God. leave it in the hands of God.i tried in the bus that day.would say that it kinda made me feel better.. but yea. i know that its more impt that i get out of this myself. hmmm



ill think through this. and till then i'll work hard and keep ms tan in my prayers.(provided i do pray) hahah. take care everyone=)

results

SIGH. i am seriously disappointed with my results. i mean. 3S 1D its like.. omg. and i cant believe i did worse for phy than cheechin. like HUH? how's that possible. but oh wells sigh.
rant quite a bit to quite a feww people. ms tan, mr chong, ms yeo, chinny, gen, mrs neo.. sigh..sometimes, i wonder whether i am just gaining sympathy. sigh. i dun feel like talking bout it anymore. tired.
i am gonna work damn hard from today. start at 9.15=)